Moments

A little past 6am, 36 years ago. Time, do you matter?

6 years of teaching secondary school completed. 12 years since the search for something more began. 18 years since high school graduation. 24 years since the move away from the motherland. Time, do you matter in factors of six?

At 36, Eric Church wondered how he outlived Hank and Jesus. It seems perhaps to ask why is just as relevant, if not more so.

Is it officially mid-life? What should the middle of one’s life look like? What should it feel like? What should matter to the middle?

In all the events time has recorded so far, none seem as significant as those undefinable moments in which everything and nothing happened all at once. Those moments when the world spun out of control and stood still. Those moments that shook the earth and calmed the seas. Those moments when the world passed by acknowledging and ignoring your existence, like indifferent fish swimming by a wayward snorkeler.

But how can moments be recorded in time?

If mid-life means life is halfway done then the uncountability of such moments has been a highlight. To have had such moments, such experiences, and to no longer remember specifics. At 36, measuring time in factors of a numerical value seems pointless. Will time ever matter again?

What seems certain now is that moments have always and will always matter more. Moments outside of time. Moments outside of records. Moments just of memories.